Dorko’s Cafe

some of the visitors that stopped by Wednesday. 

comes from, of all places, Joe Paterno.  i’m copying this from fanNation.com’s blurb on Joe’s “Road Rage” incident . . .

According to the sources, Paterno said after his close call he pulled his car over to the curb and got out. He then approached the other vehicle and shook his finger at the driver. He warned her to, “Watch it.” “Be careful,” Paterno said. “I have your license number, and I will call the police on you.”

 According to the sources, Paterno said a male passenger then walked up and chastised him, saying, “That’s my wife you’re talking to.”

Paterno said, “That’s your problem.” 

from Lon Morris 

great things are happening, starting now!

tonight begins the high school football season with a contest against Biglerville.  i’ll be putting up a link to the forums at Eastern Penn Live because they seem to thave the best banter focused on area high school football.  you’ll be able to click on through and count the times someone says we should fire brennan at your on convenience. 

DARTS - the sign up sheet is alive and active.  there is also a sign-up sheet for the dart team party.  if you plan on attending (locust gap - sept 22 (confirm at bar)) please sign up so we can have a semi-accurate count for menu planning.  significant others are welcome. 

BOWLING - the bowling team shirts have arrived, true to the motto of “better late than never”.  there are enough shirts to cover the backs (and fronts) of the team members, and a mere handful available for sale.  as the initial run, these are sure to be collector’s items available in either XL or XXL. 

YOUTUBE - after receiving a gem from Rich Persing, i decided this needed to be on youTube.  so, i’ve opened what will eventually be the Dorkos.com youtube channel.  look for more info on that endeaver as it develops.  in the meantime, here’s the video that started it all . . .

oh yeah . . .

PHILLIES - congrats for their sweep of the Mets.  i haven’t heard that much enthusiasm for baseball in a long time.  i  know they’re just going to end it all by missing the playoffs by a game, but right now it feels good to be a fan!

from the email box of Frank Pet.

from the desk of the Venerable Joe Stone . . .

this one comes compliments of Joe Stone.  he sends lots of good stuff . . .

Rodney Dangerfield Jokes:

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” So, I went over… Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That’s when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, “Why?”
He said, “Because you came home early.”

My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; Why… Just last night she called me from Chicago.

My family was so poor that if I hadn’t been born a boy, I wouldn’t of had anything to play with.

i got this from a couple of different people recently, and i like the idea of funny beer commercials.  they make me chuckle.

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and looks it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” 

Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Some old men can still think fast.

that, and the running of the Kentucky Derby, and celebrating the long-standing Polish holiday of Cinco de Mayo. 

Mike Sinkovich and Joe Zaharick were able to best Danny Lawler and Deacon DeMarco (little Deacon, not Freddy), in the Hi/Lo dart tournament.  Congrats to them!!

to put the “70’s game” rumor to rest, it has been confirmed that Michael Sinkovich did indeed hit a 78, which is the highest dart score ever recorded, on the American Style Online Dart Game, not on the wooden board in Dorko’s.

in unrelated activity, the Shuffleboard season came to a close recently, and despite the best efforts of a dedicated team of men and women, Dorko’s lost out on the season title to the Cloer Hose.  a hearty round of congratulations to the Clover’s!