Dorko’s Cafe

from the email box of Rich Persing . . .

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not
pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will
be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast nextSunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing Campaign slogan Last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours

three teams competed in the final day of the PA State Dart Tournament.  they finished as follows . . .

24th Place in the State

Doug Troutman - Chrissy Schu - Dave Wolfgang

21st in the State

 Nate Dobeck - Joe Zaharik - Dennis Conti

13th in the State

Dave Hobowski - Danny Lawler - Ed Dormer (also shooting but not pictured - Corey Hepler and Joe Swatski)

congratulations guys!!

next up - Nationals where we will have several teams competing in Emmaus.

from the email box of Rich Persing . . .

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks the most slowly.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill,in the fog.

8. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.

11. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.

12. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. Any tool dropped while working on a vehicle…will inevitably be found in the vehicles exact geographic center.

15. There is no such thing as “idiot proof”. The world will ALWAYS build a bigger idiot.

16. Anything that is cut to length will usually be too short.

it’s been busy lately, and there are a few things that i wanted to put up updates about . . .

Darts:

the spring season kicks off tomorrow night!  there will be the traditional opening day burgers in sauce, some come and shoot, eat, or hang out.

Also - the first two teams have made it through the qualifying round at States, and will be shooting in the finals.  Each team finished the day at 3-1, so they will be in the Losers bracket on the final day.  also worth mentioning, at the end of the first day, Young Joe Zaharik held high score of the tournament with a 56.

Shuffleboard:

the first half of the season appears to be over, and Dorko’s and the Clover Hose are tied atop the league standings.  so, it looks like the second half will be very interesting!

Also, this picture just in from the “Do what i say, not what I Said” department . . .

or, “too much time on your hands”.  one or the other . . . .  

got this from the email box of Rich Persing . . .

i saw this online this afternoon, and it took a while to make it stop moving!

i came across this old picture recently, and realized it never made it to the site, so i’m adding a snapshot of the Dorko’s Softball team, circa 1997.  if anyone wants a full scale copy of the pict for printing, let me know.