Dorko’s Cafe

An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an
IRS agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room.
As they entered the room, the pastor held out his
hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly,
smiled, and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything.
Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also
puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the Lawyer asked, “Pastor, why did you ask
& get the two of us to come here?”

The old pastor mustered with all his strength, then said weakly,
Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go.

This weekend, on Sunday, we will have two teams shooting in the finals of the Silver Bullet Dart Tournament. 

Team One - Dan Lawler, Dave Hobowski, and Corey Helper

Team Two - Doug Trout, Chrissy Schu, Ed Dormer, and Joe Swatski

The dart start flying at noon.  if you’re interested in going to see the guys in action, stop by the bar to get directions and maybe even find a ride.

Danny Dowkus, Chrissy Schu, and Doug Troutman (pictured) finished in the TOP 22 in the State during the 2007 tournament.  Congrats guys!!

i get a lot of emails that make some strange claims.  i’m sure some of them are true, and some aren’t, but who am i to argue over whether or not water “boiled” in a microwave can explode?

 
well, at snopes.com, they take the time to separate the “i didn’t think that was true” from the “who would’a thought?”.  i put a link to snopes over on the right, under the juke box, so next time you get one of those emails about how scientists in siberia accidentally punched through the ground and right into hell, you can check out for yourself whether it’s just a bunch of hot air, mostly hot air, or surprisingly true. 

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the
    breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a
    sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.”

 
    The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “See .. He
    mated 50 times last year? … once-a-week.”

 
    They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
    “This bull mated 120 times last year.”
    The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than
    twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”

 
    They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in
    capital letters, “This bull mated 365 times last year.” The wife, so
    excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband’s ribs, said, that’s
    once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”

 
    The husband looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was
    with the same cow.”

NOTE:

The husband’s condition has been upgraded to
 stable.

this one also come compliments of a heads up from Rich Persing.

I’ve added a new virtual juke box to the site here (look for the image on the right).  if it looks a little old, it’s because it is.  there is some Aerosmith and AC/DC on it, but a lot of the tunes are from the 60’s and 70’s.  In fact, I remember a lot of them from being on the old juke boxes we had during the 70’s.

i sure wish they had “Crystal Chandaliers” on it, but as long as there is “Kiss An Angel Good Morning” on it, I can live with it.   

these are from my friend Rich Pering:

 I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT  WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?